It's been months that i didn't blog. I have been away from my time to think and reflect. I have been busy with work after my rejection by the universities that i would like to go and the ones I would have got in was frigging expensive.
So another year pass by. Sigh!
Have been loving what I'm doing right now and i hope I will find the reason of "not now my dear! just hold on".
It's 6:04 in the morning and I haven't sleep a wink. I just couldn't go off to sleep. Today I got to go to work and I wonder how i will survive.
My mind is not at peace and I can't calm it down. So I thought I should just write something.
The problem is I cannot understand what I'm feeling. And how to cope with my life. It's not going according to plan. I felt pathetic and sad when I was listening and singing to coldplay's song "Fix you". All I could ask for now is not to doze off during work hours.
I need to make friends and start something that makes me happy. It's way to much now to deal with others perception and assumptions and their expectations. I will not hate myself anymore. A little bit of confident I need to gain to just not be like those girls in the manga, so frigging fragile and put off. Ugh! I hate their situation that they are always in. In reality true friends are hard to find and sometimes I need to take initiative to make one.
Besides being weird,I have been ill for a long time. I hope i never get sick anymore.
Great now i'm sleepy. :/
So another year pass by. Sigh!
Have been loving what I'm doing right now and i hope I will find the reason of "not now my dear! just hold on".
It's 6:04 in the morning and I haven't sleep a wink. I just couldn't go off to sleep. Today I got to go to work and I wonder how i will survive.
My mind is not at peace and I can't calm it down. So I thought I should just write something.
The problem is I cannot understand what I'm feeling. And how to cope with my life. It's not going according to plan. I felt pathetic and sad when I was listening and singing to coldplay's song "Fix you". All I could ask for now is not to doze off during work hours.
I need to make friends and start something that makes me happy. It's way to much now to deal with others perception and assumptions and their expectations. I will not hate myself anymore. A little bit of confident I need to gain to just not be like those girls in the manga, so frigging fragile and put off. Ugh! I hate their situation that they are always in. In reality true friends are hard to find and sometimes I need to take initiative to make one.
Besides being weird,I have been ill for a long time. I hope i never get sick anymore.
Great now i'm sleepy. :/
