I came back to re-read what i wrote. I came back to write down some more.
It's been months since I posted here,it was full of ups and downs. I had short happy moments though. It was fun i guess.
I came back here because I feel numb again. I am just doing nothing but wasting my time on online games again. It was my only place to keep me from thinking terrible things and not tear up.
I want to stop feeling this way. I don't want it to come back. I want to come back here writing beautiful and happy things.
So I decided to write everything from bad things and good things that have happened. And mostly write good things from now on.
There was a time I snapped and I had hard time adjusting with people. Also I was angry as to why my cousins where so mean and decided to do so as well. But they went a long way disrupting and spreading like wildfire. I finally realized how cheap they were doing and so I just went invisible when they were around. I needed to avoid them, they weren't good for my health. Though I am not always right, there is a limit to ruining someone's peace of mind. I can't believe my own cousins would do such petty things. I can't believe my cousin would steal something. I can't believe that they would do anything for attention. I decided to move out. I needed some time to grow...
I went under depression, lost weigh and gone down to 43kgs. I was sick all the time and all I could do was talk about home in my dreams. I quit my job as I was underpaid and the art was way to plagiarized plus my struggle to keep my sanity.
I went back home, I was loved and I started to blossomed. I was happy and slept dreamless nights. I baked, read tons for science books, took photographs, sold paintings and painted more. I looked for work and got it immediately. I am home and earning. I even went to meet my friends and worked on my project at a cosmopolitan city for a month. I was eying on all the handsome guys passing by...ahahaha they make good references for my art.
I decided to "Capre Diem", by going back to my village.Booked tickets and met my mother halfway.
I had so much fun. It was worth it. I feel lighter and I took in fresh air and lots of goodness from there.
I don't know where I am heading but I saw progress in my skills. I sold my paintings and I am keeping positive attitude throughout.
I spend less time in feeling blue and more time crushing on characters from the books. I am asexual but I do like to have crushes. lol....
So looking back I guess I am on my way to get better.
This feeling I have right now is overwhelming because I want to do something and walk on ahead with my head held high.
I want the Universe to help me out, to watch over me by bringing positive energy.
It's been months since I posted here,it was full of ups and downs. I had short happy moments though. It was fun i guess.
I came back here because I feel numb again. I am just doing nothing but wasting my time on online games again. It was my only place to keep me from thinking terrible things and not tear up.
I want to stop feeling this way. I don't want it to come back. I want to come back here writing beautiful and happy things.
So I decided to write everything from bad things and good things that have happened. And mostly write good things from now on.
There was a time I snapped and I had hard time adjusting with people. Also I was angry as to why my cousins where so mean and decided to do so as well. But they went a long way disrupting and spreading like wildfire. I finally realized how cheap they were doing and so I just went invisible when they were around. I needed to avoid them, they weren't good for my health. Though I am not always right, there is a limit to ruining someone's peace of mind. I can't believe my own cousins would do such petty things. I can't believe my cousin would steal something. I can't believe that they would do anything for attention. I decided to move out. I needed some time to grow...
I went under depression, lost weigh and gone down to 43kgs. I was sick all the time and all I could do was talk about home in my dreams. I quit my job as I was underpaid and the art was way to plagiarized plus my struggle to keep my sanity.
I went back home, I was loved and I started to blossomed. I was happy and slept dreamless nights. I baked, read tons for science books, took photographs, sold paintings and painted more. I looked for work and got it immediately. I am home and earning. I even went to meet my friends and worked on my project at a cosmopolitan city for a month. I was eying on all the handsome guys passing by...ahahaha they make good references for my art.
I decided to "Capre Diem", by going back to my village.Booked tickets and met my mother halfway.
I had so much fun. It was worth it. I feel lighter and I took in fresh air and lots of goodness from there.
I don't know where I am heading but I saw progress in my skills. I sold my paintings and I am keeping positive attitude throughout.
I spend less time in feeling blue and more time crushing on characters from the books. I am asexual but I do like to have crushes. lol....
So looking back I guess I am on my way to get better.
This feeling I have right now is overwhelming because I want to do something and walk on ahead with my head held high.
I want the Universe to help me out, to watch over me by bringing positive energy.
