To my mother

I REALLY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO WRITE OF HOW I FEEL ABOUT MY MOTHER BUT FINALLY I CLOSED MY EYES, WENT BACK TO DAYS OF THE PAST AND THIS CAME UP....

To my mother
Sun be soft on you
I slowly look away from the past,
To another path that lead out from it.
I still know your eyes that bleed good tears,
I never did understand till now,
Maybe I’m angry that you couldn’t reach me.
You got me almost all that was happy in my eyes,
The dresses, cakes, dolls, new shoes, butterfly hair clips and bags.
You made me to be a girl, who has everything,
Something that you wished you had long ago.
Amazes me when you look at me in the perfect little dress I wore,
It was more than materialistic happiness,
I saw your Happiness from your heart,
I still don’t know what you call it.
Whenever I see you behaving like this,
And because I know your story,
I try to fight back the tears that will ruin the whole effort you put on my face.
I turn away when you approach me at that moment,
But you thought I was mad at you for putting me through this.
The truth is I never wanted you to see me fail in your eyes,
Your expectations was something I must hold on to,
No matter how hard it is
You are something I can’t repay at any lost,
Something I can get it back with my soul.
Even though we are so different from each other,
I never had any intentions to make you regret,
A slap across my face doesn’t change the promise to you,
I might run away somewhere in the corner and sit.
No matter how hard the situation that we both can’t handle,
Even if I think of dying right now or giving up and fall down,
A part of you rushes in;
I remember your face,
It’s enough to tell me everything;
And I come back home.
All this time you never asked me if why I behave like this or think like that, keeping everything to myself
Not because I don’t care;
It’s because I feel vulnerable to your strong heart.
I hate being easily tamed by emotions,
That’s why I run.
You should know even the tiniest deed I did in front of you makes me feel so happy.
You’re the first person I can hug;
And you are the first person to see me cry.
All along I knew why I can be so stubborn and at the same time silly with the decisions I made,
because all along I have you with me.