IT

It’s feels empty. Me!

I’m uncertain of what I really want to do.

I don’t want my love ones be trouble by what I’m going through.

It’s total idleness. By making my days pass by something I can’t get. I feel like I spending aimlessly thinking and dreaming what I want. And what I want doesn’t make sense. I myself don’t understand it.

I wonder why I am so complicated and all I ever think about has everything me in it. Am I scared what I’ll become of me tomorrow or just self obsessed.

Every day I get a chance to fight for tomorrow but I waste it like any other day. I hate to describe how I feel.

I want to come out of it and think about others. I wish I could fix my brain up but In vain.

I’m making friends here and helping them out how much I could with my heart on it and with whatever I could give. They are kind, fun, happy and we get along very well. But the end of the day I keep thinking about what I really want. And I realize I just don’t know. I thought this was because how I was left out during my childhood in school made me feel not worth trusting in people and made myself a really bad kid, that has strongly left me retarded and slow. But making friends has helped me a lot. I’m getting happy. Now I talk a lot and it surprises me at the end of the day. Now handshakes and holding hands have become so normal.

I guess I’m impatient to fill up my empty spaces with whatever I could.