feeling blue

Today all I could do was to be quiet the whole day so I could not feel so horrible about my situation.

I rather live a busy life than being just shut in a room becoming duller and duller. Get darker in my mood and feel miserable.

I have reached a stage of no ideas to work on my portfolio. But I'm still trying to make it no matter how. It is dragging. I just want to get over with it.

But I decided I should take time to make it better. But I don't want to do this anymore.

I was wondering or rather wishing if I could get something different when I wake up. If the same things repeat I was wishing I would rather live in my dreams or just not wake up. It sounds scary.

I have been told I'm always complaining. They are right. But I never told them.  

Gosh I still have to move my things out. I was laughing at the situation where I'm most likely to drag my things down to my cousins place. 

I'm worried if I will fit in. I need to get a chance to live on my own. Right now it looks grim. 

I will miss my present place. The area so safe that you could walk all alone in the park in the middle of the night. 

When I'm hungry around 10 to 11 o'clock in the night. I can just walk all alone to a store for something to munch or drink ,where you get everything and it is 24 hours open. 

The place is so secure and filled with security to look after late hours. 

Now the place I'm going to stay will be a 360 turn. I will be now literally inside a room with my computer. I won't able to go for a walk or go anywhere at night time all by myself. Even the morning outside will be worry some. 

I will miss the freedom.

I need to do something about it soon.